"Change by hypnosis" |
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Hypnosis Change Tools Weight Loss Articles Smoking Stress management public Speaking Sports performance Phobias Self Confidence Sales performance Memory and test taking Chronic pain Destructive habits Health sexual performance self hypnosis Depression Hypertension Insomnia Newsletter Scheduled events |
| Some People Spend A Lot of Money To Prove They Can't be Cured. |
Can Hypnotherapy help everyone? Absolutely not. Some people would consider their lives ruined if they
were cured of their problems. Their problems make them who they are. They spend a lot of money to
prove they can't be cured.
The "rewards" of being incurable.
Susan is one of them. Her back gets rigid, she turns her face away and crosses her arms as she
announces, “I don’t believe in that stuff!" The last thing she wants to hear is that phobias are
conditioned responses and usually respond quickly to hypnosis.
Susan carries a cane everywhere and turns every conversation to her "problem". Once she starts, she
babbles incessantly about how awful it is that, ever since she slipped on the ice in a shopping center
parking lot, she can't go anywhere without someone to lean on. She breaks into a sweat, can't breathe,
and gets horribly dizzy. She gets around inside her house just fine, but the minute she steps outside,
even with a cane that she really doesn't need, she panics. Her husband or adult children have to take her
everywhere - shopping, to visit friends, to the doctors. She is terrified of going out alone.
Do you see the benefit here? What would happen if she were cured? How would she manage to get that
same kind of attention from her family?
Yes, there are people who don’t want to get better. Most of them don't know it. They would spit, sputter,
rage or cry, if you dared to suggest such a thing. Nevertheless, an astonishing number of “problems“ are
cultivated for the rewards they produce.
Pain and phobias generate attention, sympathy, and an excuse for avoiding what you don’t want to do.
Obesity is a great deterrent to sexual advances, absolves you from physical activity, and allows you to
eat whatever you want. Smoking provides reasons to stall, escape, or take a break. Alcohol and drugs
"excuse" all kinds of outrageous behavior - "Yes, Your Honor, but he only hits me when he's been drinking."
And, if you have plenty of money or good insurance, you can do a continuous round of medical tests and
medications, which can keep you out of work for long periods of time. In a lawsuit happy world, it's really
hard to get medical professionals to tell you there's nothing wrong with you. They can't take the risk that
there might be something they missed.
Brainwashed to be inadequate
That’s doesn't meant that everyone who has a problem is hooked on the rewards. It is very possible that
there are beliefs hidden in the subconscious mind – limitations unintentionally embedded in the trusting
mind of a child by a well-meaning adult - that cause the problem. Negative self-concepts don’t always
come from abuse; more often, they come from a caring or careless parent or teacher.
“Sandy takes after me…everything she eats settles in the middle. It’s in our genes to be built
like beach balls.”
“Melanie is all nerves, just like my sister, poor thing.”
“Joey got the brains and the looks, but Beth has such a good heart.”
Do Sandy, Melanie, and Beth remember those statements as adults? They can, but they often don't. They
just live their lives accepting that these statements are laws of the universe. Sandy yoyos through
Weight Watchers, Atkins and South Beach, Melanie starts every day with Prozac. Beth holds the same
entry-level job in the nursing home that she took ten years ago. They all wish they were capable of more,
but they BELIEVE the limits set for them in their childhoods.
What you believe is what you become. Once the subconscious accepts an idea, it remains until it is
replaced by another idea.
Hypnosis can't help those who don't want to change.
It sounds like a light bulb joke: How many hypnotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one,
but it really has to want to change.
People often call hypnotists because a spouse, child, or parent has problems that cause make the caller
very unhappy and distressed. One woman called because her husband was a three-pack-a-day smoker
who needed surgery for lung cancer. The surgeon refused to operate until the man quit smoking. As it
turned out, the man was grateful for the surgeon's refusal. The last thing he wanted was his lung
removed. He was more able to accept dying than the surgery. It was a tragic situation.
Every individual has a right to make their own decisions. Nobody can be hypnotized against their will and
hypnosis is not able to force someone to do anything he doesn't want to do. Nobody can be compelled to
act in opposition to his beliefs. The subconscious mind will simply refuse to accept the instructions.
That’s what hypnotherapy does. Hypnotherapists are trained to work directly with the subconscious mind
to discover and change misconceptions and limiting beliefs that are the basis for addictions, habits, fears,
and negative behaviors. Permanent weight loss, public speaking, new job skills, pain management,
smoking, sports and sales performance are all controlled by the beliefs held in your subconscious mind.
Hypnotherapy is a natural drug-free way of reprogramming your mind to a more positive reality.
But, it works only if you really desire the change.
The three keys to change are DESIRE, BELIEF, and EXPECTATION. (click on the title to read the article)
"Change by hypnosis" |
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Hypnosis Change Tools Weight Loss Articles Smoking Stress management public Speaking Sports performance Phobias Self Confidence Sales performance Memory and test taking Chronic pain Destructive habits Health sexual performance self hypnosis Depression Hypertension Insomnia Newsletter Scheduled events |
| DESIRE, BELIEF, AND EXPECTATION The Three Keys to Change |
Karen says she should go back to school so she can get a better job. Mark says he know he won't get
recommended for a promotion until he loses fifty pounds and looks more like a successful manager should
look. Desiree says she should quit smoking but can't while she's under so much stress.
Is there anyone who doesn't have a should or two? Something that "needs" changing.
So, why is it such a big deal? Why don't we JUST DO IT? What's holding us back? Why do we seem to lack
the power to make changes that are really not all that big a deal?
DESIRE is the very first essential key. NOTHING happens without DESIRE.
From the time you open your eyes until the time you close them again, everything you do has a DESIRE
as it's source. You have to want to do something in order to take action. To DESIRE something, you have
to believe you will get some satisfaction from it.
That satisfaction could be pleasure: I get out of bed and go to work because I like the paycheck. The
satisfaction could also come from avoiding pain: I get out of bed and go to work because I won't have a
job for very long if I don't.
When someone really hates the job and still gets out of bed and goes to work and comes home and cries
and complains until his (or her) spouse pets and babies him all evening, that's a different kind of
satisfaction called secondary gains. S/He is getting a reward for his suffering (See "Some People Spend A
Lot of Money To Prove They Can't be Cured" for more on this subject). S/He is still acting out of DESIRE.
When someone hates the job and procrastinates about an option, like Karen (above), it's often because
she believes her familiar discomfort is better than the unknown discomfort of going back to school.
Karen's DESIRE is to avoid more discomfort than she already has, even though the discomfort she is
avoiding is imaginary, and may not even exist.
DESIRE, also has to reach a certain level of strength to create action. If, on a scale of 1 - 10, your desire
to quit smoking is 1, you will probably be resentful of anyone who suggests cigarettes are not doing your
health any good. If your desire level is 9, not much is going to stop you. If your desire level falls in the
middle and you would like to push it upward, there are several things you can do to improve your odds.
One is to imagine all the wonderful positive ways your life will be improved when you reach your goals
(self hypnosis).
BELIEF is the second essential key.
BELIEF is an idea you accept as being true. It doesn't matter if it is or if it isn't. All that matters is that
YOU think it's true. Most of your beliefs were absorbed from some authority figure when you were a small
child. (See "Some People Spend A Lot of Money To Prove They Can't be Cured" for more on this subject)
When you have a belief , you only accept information that proves your belief and reject anything that
contradicts it.
Henry Ford said it often: If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.
So, if you reject anything that contradicts your belief, and you can't do anything that you believe you can't
do, what can you do to change a BELIEF?
BELIEFS can be changed by a process I call "stretching the mind". It's like playing a child's game of
"WHAT IF"? WHAT IF the opposite of your belief is true? What would that be like? Imagine it in great
detail.
If, for example, you believe every member your family is genetically designed to be built like a beach ball,
imagine what it would be like if the opposite were true. Are there any exceptions at all to the beach ball
shape? What about Cousin Carol who is more like a hot dog with a chest? What about Aunt Theresa who
was a beach ball until she got diabetes and stopped eating desserts and now tells everyone who will
listen that she has the same measurements as Jane Fonda.
Aha...so that belief is not always 100% true, is it?
Now, if it's sometimes not true, what else might be causing that beach ball shape...COULD it be the
desserts? WHAT IF....? Is it possible that you eat desserts because you believe you should be built like a
beach ball instead of being built like a beach ball because you eat desserts?
Your mind cannot hold two conflicting views at the same time, and you CAN change which one you accept.
EXPECTATION is the final key - the one that makes it happen.
EXPECTATION is PRE-suming that the outcome will be as PRE-dicted. The Federal Drug Administration
uses EXPECTATION as a basis for testing all new drugs. A certain number of people are told that they
are getting a potent new treatment for whatever and some get it and some get sugar pills. Some people
will ALWAYS get better on the sugar pills. Sometimes more people get better on the sugar pills than on
the potent new drug.
EXPECTATION is very powerful. For EXPECTATION to be activated, the outcome must be possible and
achievable (and both of those words keep getting redefined every day) and under YOUR control. If you
"expect" to win the lottery, it might be intelligent to expect to "expect" for a very very long time.
On the other hand, if you "expect" to quit smoking...something that is possible, achievable, and under
your control...and a little voice in your mind says. "Yeah, right, and the last time you tried you lasted
half an hour"... you already know that you can go 30 minutes without smoking. Now, let's see how soon
you can go 35...and 40...and....
By breaking your goal into small bits that you can easily expect to achieve, you make the expected
outcome believable, even to the brainwashed disbeliever in your mind.
Don't worry about getting a Master's Degree; can you reasonably expect to register and attend one
course? Forget losing fifty pounds: can you expect to lose one pound? Sure you can. Anyone can. Then
since you already know how, can you do it again? If you do that once a week for a year, what happens?
And how will your life be different? Relax and imagine that life in great detail, right now...It's one year
from today, you are exactly one year older, and you are doing...what? Make it clear and bright and vivid.
See the colors, hear the voices, feel the temperature...what are you wearing?
That is the way to impress your EXPECTATION deeply into your subconscious mind. Once your
subconscious knows what is expected, it does it.
How long should you keep on EXPECTING? Well, until it happens, of course.
If you need some help building your confidence in your desires, beliefs, and expectations, you may want
to treat yourself to the powerful new special effects CD "YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.
"YES, You CAN!!!" uses a very powerful double induction technique that quickly bypasses the
critical conscious mind and gently implants new concepts of confidence in the subconscious mind.