"Change by hypnosis" |
Do you believe that your significant other should be your “best friend”? Does your definition of “best
friend” mean a person who listens with sympathy to the misery and stresses of your day? Do you start
unloading your litany of complaints the moment you see his/her face?
Well, if there aren’t already some cracks in your relationship, there will be soon.
We will deal with the inevitable breakdown…and no, the word “inevitable” is not an exaggeration or a
misprint… in your relationship in a moment. Let’s look at what has happened already.
Wasn’t there a time when you just couldn’t wait to be with your love? Remember how just being in the
same room…heck, just the image of your love in your mind… was enough to make the whole world
brighter and warmer and more vivid. Just knowing that the two of you were under the same stars was
enough to make any problem seem trivial, or at least more manageable, wasn’t it?
So, what happened to that feeling?
Let me guess. You believe you "got used to" each other. You got caught up in the endless drip of
ordinary life. You just succumbed to the inevitable passing of time, right? It’s a “more mature”
relationship, now, isn’t it?
Yep, it sure is. And if you continue the way you are going, you will wake up someday with a stranger
whose very face turns you cold as an iceberg.
YOU are killing your love.
By bitching about your boss. Or, your mother. Or, whatever it is you bitch about.
This is not a joke, and not an exaggeration. This is how your mind works. Every mind works this way.
It's a classic psychology technique called conditioning.
Remember that old experiment that Pavlov did with the dogs, ringing the bell when they were fed until
the dogs started to salivate as soon as the bell rang?
Good.
The key point in the Pavlov experiment is that dogs have no choice about salivating. That flood of saliva
that gushes forth is completely under the control of the automatic nervous system. Because the bell and
the meat happen at the same time, the mind/body accepts them both as equally responsible for the
result. It does not, and cannot, say “Gees, bells don’t fill my stomach so I will only react to the meat.”
The association is there, it is powerful, it triggers the reaction. Fix that thought firmly in your mind.
Okay, now, picture this. You have this wonderful face that represents everything you love and adore,
that makes your bones melt and your world luminous. Every evening, within a few minutes of seeing that
face, you conjure up the nastiest, most miserable experiences of your day and relive them, retell them...
sometimes, over and over...while looking at your mate.
What do you think you are conditioning your mind to associate with your mate’s face? And, what do you
think your significant other is associating with YOUR complaining face? Okay, just how long do you think
it will take until you each start to feel bad as soon as you look at each other? And remember, this
happens in the automatic nervous system. It's got nothing to do with choice of logic. It's pure reaction.
Think about it!
Not only are you just as susceptible to conditioning as Pavlov’s puppies, you have even less of a clue
than they do as to what is happening.
Why?
Because the dogs accept what is happening and you deny it.
You probably read somewhere or heard it on TV that “venting your negative feelings is a good thing”,
didn’t you? Shouldn’t hold them in, right? Not good for you. Get them out. Find a sympathetic and
supportive ear. And a good spouse is supportive, right?
In other words, you have subscribed to a whole series of “shoulds” that contradict the reality of what
actually happens. You rationalize (rational lies) your behavior and deny the facts.
Now, are you going to continue to condition your wonderful lover to feel bad the moment s/he sees your
face, or are you going to change your behavior…STARTING RIGHT THIS MINUTE…because you cherish
what you have and you want to preserve it?
For more tips on how to preserve and grow a loving relationship with your mate, please see “Revitalize
Your Love” (coming soon).
“Build a Loving Relationship” is a new hypnosis CD that conditions your subconscious to feel and enjoy
the powerful wonders of love and stimulates new sensitivity to your partner so you can continue to
create greater and more precious trust and bonds. This is a CD you can share or use separately. If you
are currently experiencing problems and genuinely want to solve them, it should be used daily for a
month by BOTH of you.
"Build a Loving Relationship" is designed to implant new loving and positive awareness in the
subconscious mind. It provides a variety of direct and indirect suggestions, laced with metaphor and
imagery, that leads you gently into new loving behaviors and thought patterns while triggering the
delightful memories of the ones that slipped away while you were doing other things
Order "Build a Loving Relationship"... LRCD#1
Reg. $29.95
Now $19.95
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| Are You Killing Your Love By Bitching About Your Boss? |
